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Title: Children’s Need For Independence
Category: Other
Blog Entry: Children need to make their own decisions, to set their own goals and to live their own life. The quality of independence is a double-edged sword. As parents, we are fond of forcing our own will upon the children. They become the means through which we gain our sense of self-worth and value. There are too many instances where parents try to push their children into fulfilling their own un-fulfilled dreams; or trying to force them to conform to other people so that they don’t stand out.Personally, I would rather have my children argue with me, be rude, resort to open rebellion and in fact cross all boundaries than that they should meekly follow the path I set for them even when they hate it. The misery such obedience would bring later makes me shudder. I’m sure none of us want our children to be miserable through their obedience because they were too respectful of us to resist us when we pushed them into careers not of their liking or choice. We must let go of our desire to control the child’s future and his choices. To be able to do that, we must understand that it’s not the child’s responsibility to provide us a sense of our own worthiness. The measure of success he achieves is not the measure of our worth- either as parents or as human beings. We must ask ourselves what is more important for us- for the child to conform to our idea of how he should run his life- or for him to be happy. Again, think back on your own life. How much of your life was influenced by what your parents/teachers expected of you? What did it do to you if you could not meet that expectation and ended up disappointing them? If you didn’t have that stress, would your life have been easier, more fulfilling? Would you have been more at peace with yourself? Are you still battling with someone else’s expectations, which are in contradiction with your own? These are not easy questions to answer. But they are vital if you truly want to make a difference in the life of a child. The child’s future depends on you answering these questions honestly